Overcoming all odds

The full benefits of breastfeeding are achieved when children receive nothing but mother's milk – not even water – until six months old, and continued breastfeeding along with solid foods for two years or more. With China's official maternity leave set at 14 weeks, continued breastfeeding after going back to work is often extremely difficult.

A growing number are overcoming obstacles to breastfeeding their babies after maternity leave. Many need to express their milk on the job and carry it home safely. It is often a struggle. Some have to use bathroom stalls. Others literally find the only space available under their desks or in mop closets. Sadly quite a few face an onslaught of criticism and even insults from colleagues, friends and family members.

Those who manage to reach the ideal of six months exclusive breastfeeding while working full time are really the greatest heroes among us. As part of UNICEF's 10m2 of Love campaign, we wanted to find the most moving stories and share them with our readers. So we issued a call on weibo. The response was wonderful and many of us cried when we read of the troubles and triumphs of these truly dedicated and strong willed moms.

Fiona's Story: It takes a whole family

“14 months is already too much!” “You need to stop! You'll spoil your baby!” “There's no nutrition in your breast milk anymore!” Fiona was almost buried by wrong advice. It seemed there was no way to explain her fierce determination to continue breastfeeding to her disapproving work colleagues. 

As a working mother, Fiona managed to breastfeed her baby for 28 months. “I made it because I learned correct knowledge of breastfeeding online, and also having a healthy baby makes me more confident. But the biggest support is what I got from my family.” She said.

Like Mencius' mother who moved her home three times to better her son's education, Fiona and her family moved their home three times to ensure her baby could breastfeed after she returned to work.  

The first move brought their home closer to her work, so that she could feed her son at lunch time, even though they had to pay a higher rent. Fiona pumped at 10 o'clock in the morning and at 3 o'clock in the afternoon in the office storage room. She would then immediately send the breastmilk to her father waiting downstairs. A few minutes later, her baby would enjoy her still warm milk.

Day after day, with the wonderful coordination of family members, her baby continued to feed up to 14 months. The lease on their rented flat eventually expired and Fiona was excited to move into a new home they had recently purchased. However, the newly completed interior decoration left a powerful chemical odour.

The extended family came together for a better solution and Fiona was amazed at the overwhelming support she received from her loved ones. They decided that to help Fiona keep breastfeeding it was better for the household to rent another lower priced house further from her work. Then, Fiona became a real “carry milk mother”.

The third and final move to their beautiful and safer new house came when Fiona's baby was 26 months old. Fiona still continued breastfeeding for 2 more months.

Sometime later Fiona was having a routine medical exam and the doctor asked “Have you ever breastfed?” “Sure! 28 months!” She answered proudly. “Great!” The doctor said, “You will have less chance of getting breast cancer.”

Nianhua's story: A toilet stall saga

“No breast feeding room!” may be the most common thing a breastfeeding mother hears when she returns to work.

Nianhua（penname）used the meeting room to pump after lunch. But in the afternoon, there were always meetings. Then, the toilet became her best choice to “make food for her baby.”

Unfortunately, Nianhua's workplace didn't have an ideal toilet. Without an air conditioner, the temperature soared in summer, and she had to pump while enduring foul smelling air.  

Neither does her employer provide heating for the staff toilet, so wintertime was even worse than the hot summer. When pumping, Nianhua had to suffer the freezing cold wearing only her under clothes. She came up with an idea to wear old sweaters next to her skin with a big hole cut out for easy pumping. Thinking of being with her daughter after work kept her mind off the miserable surroundings. “On busy days, I suffered from the pain of engorgement; in winter, I experienced the icy cold. But I also gained the unlimited trust and love from my baby,” She said, “But I happen to be a persisting mother. I believe breastmilk is the best. I'd like to give her the best. I want to enjoy the feeling of a very tight bond with my child when breast feeding.”

At the time of this writing her baby is 22 months old and Nianhua is still breastfeeding. She's now imagining the day when she will have the chat with her toddler: “Do you want to stop nursing now?” And on her own, her daughter may say: “Yes!” Until that day comes Nianhua will keep sharing these precious moments.

Xiaoyu's Story: The doubting mother-in-law

Would you continue breast feeding if all the colleagues in your office persistently mocked you? Chen Xiaoyu's choice was to shut out all the noise and keep breastfeeding.

Xiaoyu has already breast fed her son for one year and planned to continue. Along the way she faced many troubles and challenges.

“How can your son eat anything else? You have made him full with so much ‘water'!” Her colleagues often remark in this way.  Among all 7 colleagues in her office space, 6 of them have children. But none of their 6 children were breastfed exclusively or breastfed beyond 6 months.

It isn't much better at home. Every time she meets her neighbours, her mother-in-law openly expresses doubt about the quality of her breastmilk. “There's no nutrition in it. It's just water, they would say.” She would have to explain the benefits of breast feeding time and time again.

Strangely, health workers did not offer much encouragement either. They urged her to add formula to make her baby fatter. (In China one of the main misconceptions is that breastfed children are thinner. Bottle fed babies may gain weight faster but breastfed babies soon catch up.) Things got almost intolerable when Xiaoyu's doubting mother-in-law met up with the ill-informed health worker and they spurred each other on. Even with so many loud critical voices, Xiaoyu persists by shutting them out. “I don't even dare to say that I'm still breastfeeding.”

She said, “I will make my humble efforts to share this happiness with mothers-to-be around me, to help them breastfeed exclusively. It is such a natural thing and also the best gift to next generation. It should be normalized.”

Xiaohui's story: A cooperative supervisor

UNICEF China did a small weibo survey about the difficulties mothers meet when continuing breastfeeding after resuming work. Many mothers cited pressure from their supervisors and colleagues as a major problem. But Liu Xiaohui, - still breastfeeding her 2 year old son - said communication with her supervisor improved when she started to express her milk at work.

Xiaohui works in a bank. She expressed her milk by hand three times a day, taking 20 minutes each time. (A 2012 State Council regulation provides every working mother one hour of paid leave per day to breastfeed or express milk for the first year) Compared with other carry milk mothers in her office, she gained more understanding from her boss through negotiation. She made an agreement with her supervisor promising to take breaks of no more 20 minutes each time, and taking her cell phone along in case of emergency. The manager was very pleased and never complained about her carry milk mamma breaks.

Meizi's story: A reformed paediatrician

Meizi（pen name）, a paediatrician, wrote to us about the regret she still feels for not promoting breastfeeding strongly enough during the early part of her medical career. She learned first-hand of the obstacles many hospitals place in the way of exclusive breastfeeding.

When she delivered she was prevented from rooming in (the practice of promoting early initiation of breastfeeding by keeping the newborn in the same bed as the mother following delivery) She realized medical school had not taught her how to manage the challenges of initiating breastfeeding after birth. So she took to the internet and began to continue her education informally. She soon realized the mistakes. 

“As a paediatrician, I'm ashamed that at one time I was misinformed about breastfeeding. I used to recommend formula milk if I thought they didn't have enough breast milk for their baby. But now I understand, with the exception of some mothers with very rare physical defects, all mothers can eventually manage to breastfeed their baby. Once I even agreed with a mother's opinion that her ‘breast milk was diluted and not nutritious.' After I became a mother myself, I realized how vulnerable you feel when your family doubts the quality of your breastmilk.” 

“Now, I know that there is no relationship between the ‘consistency' of a mother's milk and its ‘nutritional value.' Breastfeeding moms should hit back with confidence at the doubters that often surround them: breast milk is much better than any substitutes!”